The “sexy” underwear that I frequently purchase from Target, are appropriately priced at $3.50. I am happy and thankful for this.
This is why.
For those of you who don’t know, or aren’t ready to admit it to yourself, women’s underwear typically have a 30 day lifespan. All the milk, which later becomes custard, the salsa and other fluids of the south create a mess down there. Crotchless undies seem the obvious remedy, but the idea gets thrown out because that’s fucking weird. Whatever, that doesn’t matter right now. (Future blog to follow.)
Since these low-cost underwear are probably made from recycled paper, they obviously stand no chance against my often unannounced menstrual flow. When they come at the low cost of $3.50, I don’t mind tossing these undies in the garbage after the massacre.
This is currently the healthiest relationship I have in my life.